Mr. Media

By Bob Andelman

Hollywood & Divine

"Show business is a bit like guys that say, 'You know, that hooker really likes me.' " -- Jay Leno, quoted in Bill Carter's book, The Late Shift (Hyperion), about the late-night TV wars. The book is the basis of an HBO movie of the same name due in February.

Forest Green

Mr. Media loves a good Internet gadget as much as the next connected fool, but the new and improved Crayon is the best.

For those just getting online, Crayon is an acronym for "CReAte Your Own Newspaper." The idea is that you choose from a massive menu of media sources and compile your own daily electronic newspaper -- you even get to name it! For example, "The Mr. Media News" includes RealAudio hourly feeds from ABC News and NPR News, plus world news from The Age (Melbourne, Australia) and St. Petersburg Press (Russia). Local news for Florida-based Mr. Media comes from the St. Petersburg Times. There's ESPN and CNN for sports, USA Today and MTV for entertainment and you can even customize your own comics page. Crayon also offers Mr. Media's home page as one of your newspaper columns.

It's another one of those free online services that make you wonder why you waste any time watching TV at all anymore.

Attention, Agent Mulder

"I love modern medical technology, but I knew where it stopped short. (Being sick) was a huge, giant wake-up call for me, a real sticky wicket with me sitting in that wheelchair and doctors telling me, `Tough luck.' I said, `Wait a minute. Medicine is not God.' I looked at this doctor and said, `I'm sorry, you're not God. God is a supernatural being, so that means anything is possible. Anything.' " -- From The Saturday Evening Post cover story, "Naomi Judd: Living with Hepatitis C."

The Final Days

"How come they used your paper and the Moonie paper and not mine?" -- What Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee said to Martin Tolchin, publisher of The Hill, a Capitol Hill weekly, at a screening of the film The American President. According to Washingtonian magazine, the Post's PR staff declined the moviemakers' request to use the paper.

The Big Bang Theory

Worlds In Collision is a two-sheet monthly newsletter tracking non-English language zines that cover topics from alternative music and art to left-wing politics and horror movies. Editor Christopher Becker apparently is multilingual -- with reviews of zines such as the Russian "Death to the World" and the Danish "Inferno." The newsletter is simplicity itself, an offbeat signpost to the hidden publishing world. For a sample, U.S. residents can send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Becker at P.O. Box 170063, San Francisco, Ca. 94117-0063 USA. Outside the United States, send an International Reply Coupon for $1. E-mail subscriptions can be requested by writing to Becker at

Journal of the Dark is not for everybody. In fact, any zine that describes itself as "Serving the Vampire Community" isn't for anybody Mr. Media knows. But if you know any vampires, or if you simply want a greater understanding of the blood-sucking community, then this is the place to dig up all the latest dirt from the crypt. For a sample, send $5, check, money order or IRC to Journal of the Dark, P.O. Box 168, Osceola, IN 46561 USA.

One Liners

Former Esquire magazine columnist Stanley Bing has been revealed by the New York Times. Bing, who now writes for Fortune, is actually high-placed CBS PR flack Gil Schwartz . . . Band Name of the Week: Mental Hippie Blood (MetalBlade Records) . . . "Duckman" is back on the USA Network for a third season. Upcoming guest voices on the animated quack riot include: David Duchovny; Lisa Kudrow; Chris Elliott; and Joe Walsh. (Check local TV listings for cable channels and times in your area.)

How to Succeed in Business, Act II

For most people, the words "chief executive officer" and "charismatic" are mutually exclusive. Not so, according to Fortun e magazine. Just look at Ted Turner. Or three-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump. (Okay, bad example.) Anyway, writer Patricia Sellers says there are those who have charisma . . .

  • August Busch III, Anheuser-Busch: "The King of Beer never kicks back for a cold one. Always confrontational, he fascinates or frightens almost everyone he meets."

  • Herb Kelleher, Southwest Airlines: "Chain-smoking, bourbon-loving maverick."

  • Bernard Marcus, Home Depot: "The Jay Leno of retailing."

    And those who don't . . .

  • Paul Allaire, Xerox: "About as dazzling as a sheet of white paper."

  • Jack Smith, General Motors: "As charismatic as his name."

  • Michael Jordan, Westinghouse: "CBS execs thought that no CEO was less charismatic than their own Larry Tisch. Then Westinghouse bought the company."

    What's Next, "Biker World"?

    "Bill Gates Predicts Your Future." -- The Microsoft mogul lands on the cover of Working Woman.


    Here are a few movies and other neat stuff melting Mr. Media's Web browser this week:

    Weird Places on the Net -- A neatly organized guide to online oddities, from "The Interactive Patient" to "The Moan and Groan Page."

    Alta Vista -- One of the most powerful Internet search engines around. Almost too powerful!

    Why Cats Paint -- Because they can't fetch?

    Teri Hatcher -- A Swedish page devoted to the co-star of TV's "Lois & Clark."

    Gary Spivey -- Read the hairy E! TV psychic's celebrity predictions for 1996.

    Geekgirl -- Down Under fun for girls on top.

    Pat's Boxing Page -- Don't know who Pat is, but this a great resource for pugilists and fans alike.

    The Dead Pool -- Make your wagers now on what celebrities will leave the building in '96.

    Write to Mr. Media via the Internet,, or P.O. Box 7670, St. Petersburg, Fla. 33734-7670

    (c) 1996, All rights reserved. No portion may be reproduced without the express written permission of the author.

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